Breakups Suck

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Breakups Suck
« on: January 30, 2018, 12:19:45 AM »
So...yeah. Before I launch into depressing stuff, HI! I hear all my friends relocated here. Hope you are all well.

So what's going on in my life? My boyfriend of 1.1667 years dumped me two weeks ago. I'll spare you all the tear-stained details, but it was by phone and letter, without warning, and I'm in that weird phase of "Is this just a phase? Are we going to get back together? Can he forgive me for my mistakes? Can I be a better person?"

There was no cheating. No arguments. No major drama. He's a PhD student. I'm trying to launch a career. No, things were not perfect. I'm a workaholic. He's a perfectionist. He wouldn't even meet me to exchange possessions. He insisted on a third party handling the swap. And this happened right after a pretty decent vacation in San Francisco with him over Christmas.

So love hurts. Breakups suck. I'm doing okay, but I have an appointment to get my head examined and make sure I don't need more meds.

~End of Depressing Story~

Re: Breakups Suck
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2018, 11:40:41 AM »
Oh, wow, that's awful. I'm so sorry! :hugs:

Breakups are always hard, but it's really terrible, especially when you thought everything was fine and didn't see it coming. I know it probably won't help a lot, but this doesn't sound like something to second guess and wonder if you did something wrong or should have known -- it sounds like it was something going on with him.

Are you past the good cry and binge watching a comfort series part yet?

Re: Breakups Suck
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2018, 10:08:31 PM »
I'm sorry to hear that.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2018, 08:45:00 AM by John of no fixed name »

Re: Breakups Suck
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2018, 05:56:07 AM »
Ouch.  Reminds me of a break-up I went through.  As far as I knew, everything fine.  We had even sort of talked around the subject of marriage.  The "what ifs," you know?  I was out of town for a week, visiting friends, came home and... he just didn't call.  I never really knew why he decided to walk away then--only that he regretted it later when we happened to meet in a bookstore.  My first published story had just come out in an anthology.  He bought the book, had me autograph it there in the store (which was pretty cool), sort of apologized for not coming around sooner.  Did I want to get together?  Nope.  I had met someone else by then (and went on to marry him).  Sometimes our hearts have to break so they can heal and lead us to the next adventure in life.  (hugs)

Re: Breakups Suck
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2018, 09:15:14 PM »
I would not say that everything was "fine." I've been struggling with work-life balance. Two people I work with closely have become toxic. One of which is my boss. But I recognize that no relationship is perfect. I told him I was going to stick with this job until my year was up, and then move on. I guess he wasn't willing to give me a chance. (And yes, he definitely has his own things going on. He entered therapy last fall after I took this position, right after I quit therapy ironically.)

But we are human and we make mistakes. Yes, Frankie, what wonderful shows do you have for me to binge watch?

Re: Breakups Suck
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2018, 07:51:39 AM »
what wonderful shows do you have for me to binge watch?

Firefly and Gilmore Girls are my comfort watch series of choice. (The heart wants what the heart wants.) I find them both soothing in different ways. I might throw original Star Trek on the list these days. I haven't been in that place since I've seen it, but  it has this zany kind of retro optimism about the future.

Though, for the most pitiful, I once binge-watched a Loveline marathon after a particularly egregious breakup. Haha I was such a mess. I couldn't even work up to ice cream or showering. I just sat in my smelly ass pajamas and drank coffee with that fake cinnamon hazelnut flavoured creamer and watched Loveline for like 72 hours. My neighbour finally staged an intervention.